OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
you never un-have a 4some
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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