He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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