the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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