hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
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He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
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Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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