dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
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So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
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I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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