grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
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It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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