Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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