I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Someone came in the potted fern
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize