Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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