had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
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Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
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There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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