My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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