No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize