You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize