Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
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WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
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The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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