Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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