it was like having sex with a tree stump
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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