Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize