I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
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I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
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You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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