Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
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It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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