woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
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We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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