i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
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I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
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So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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