im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
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Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
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