he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My life is pants optional.
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