I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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