Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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