Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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