who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize