Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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