im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
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