nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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