Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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