she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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