if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize