he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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