You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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