I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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