Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
nutella sex= disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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