Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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