We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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