Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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