just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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