I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's rum buckets o'clock
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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