Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize