He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i would one night stand the shit outta him
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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