That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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