i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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