On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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