Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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