No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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