he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize